A will that remembers friends, as well as family

I really enjoyed this article that was published recently in the New York Times. It was written by a journalist who described the process of deciding what to put into her will, and her thought process during that time. I saw in this article a lot of the things I hear at work, from "why do you care if you're fair? You'll be dead" to making sure every person on your list has at least one item. I thought she really captured what many people go through when making a will.

Click here to read the article. It's a good read, and you may even see something of yourself in it.

More on moving

This new article from the New York Times talks about why an aging parent who seems happy to move to a new home or retirement residence might balk at the last minute, and how you can help them. Click here to read the article.

Elder Tech: what's important

Do you ever wonder what kind of technology might interest or entertain your aging parents? Do you believe that seniors can't or won't learn new applications or devices? You might be surprised. This article takes a fresh look at seniors and technology and has some good advice for those of us with a senior in our lives. Click here to read the article from the New York Times. The attached photo is from James Estrin/New York Times.

Empathy 101

The University of California at Berkeley has put a new program into place that matches first-year medical students with independent seniors. The idea is to teach the med students a thing or two about seniors and make them aware of their own stereotypes. Click here to read an article about the program in the New York Times.

What's in a (first) name?

Does it bother you when a nurse or doctor or other care provider automatically calls you by your first name? Would it bother you if you were 80 years old and the caregiver was 30, and you were in a situation in which you felt that your dignity and privacy were already diminished? This is the subject of this article in the New York Times. My own experience with seniors leads me to believe that many of them would prefer to be addressed by their surnames. I have a strict rule to call my clients Mr. or Mrs. or Ms, unless they tell me that they'd prefer otherwise. I'm pretty informal as a rule, and all of my clients call me by my first name - and I'm completely happy with that - but I think it's respectful for me to address them more formally.

They can't go home again

I always find Paula Span's articles in the New York Times to be excellent. They're intelligent, well-researched and well-written. But this one is, in my view, outstanding. It's essential reading for any individual who is struggling with caregiving to a parent with whom he or she has had a difficult relationship. That isn't something you hear a lot about, is it? The feelings of the person expected to do the caregiving are usually pretty darn low on the priority list. If you're in this situation, do yourself a huge favour and read this article. You'll feel better. The attached photo, originally from Getty Images, is also from that article in the New York Times.

War on Dementia

The New York Times is carrying an article about how South Korea is dealing with its epidemic of dementia. The government's plans are very extensive, which is necessary given the numbers of individuals affected. They are even including training for children as young as 11 years old to understand dementia and help with caregiving. I found the article extremely interesting, as it started me wondering about which, if any, of their measures would work here in Canada. Click here to read the article.

Unexpected findings on elderly drivers

This article in the New York Times discusses some of the findings of the recent two-day forum on Safety, Mobility and the Aging Driver. Apparently the findings were surprising to some, and were over all good news for older drivers who don't yet want to hang up their keys. Click here to read the article.

Elder sleuths size up local businesses

I love this idea. In Oregon, a non-profit group offers certification to businesses that they deem to be senior-friendly. Has this been started anywhere in Canada yet? Click here to read the article from the New York Times.

Money problems are an early sign of Alzheimer's disease

A recent article in the New York Times talks about how the ability to understand and deal with finances is one of the first impairments associated with Alzheimer's Disease. I wholeheartedly agree with this finding. My clients tell me that some of the very first things they notice in their aging parents are that the parents forget to pay important bills, misplace bills and paperwork (e.g. insurance policies, receipts, work orders) and sometimes pay a bill multiple times because they've forgotten it's been paid.

When you put those smaller, daily tasks such as bill paying in the context of everything a person needs to do to maintain control over finances, you realize that the problem is probably bigger than you thought. Confusion and/or memory problems make an aging person very vulnerable to unscrupulous people, as well as susceptible to simply making big financial mistakes on their own initiative.

When going through estate planning, you should not just focus on a Will. Of course the Will is essential, but it's not the whole story. People should also have Enduring Powers of Attorney that allow one of the kids, or someone else, to step in and help when the ability to manage money diminishes. Without an Enduring Power of Attorney, a person in need of financial help cannot get that help without a court order that appoints a trustee.

An Enduring (aka Continuing) Power of Attorney is essential as well. Don't neglect putting this very important document into place. Keep in mind that the document is flexible enough to be tailored to an individual's needs and wishes. If at all possible, you should also try to ensure that your aging parents put these into place as well.

To read the New York Times article, click here.

Medical marijuana raises tough questions in nursing homes

Originally I wasn't going to post this article because it's American, so the information about which states allow medical marijuana use would be of little interest to us. However, the issues raised are the same on both sides of the border. What happens when a person who is legally using marijuana for medicinal purposes moves into a nursing home? Is the person still allowed to take it? What are the logistical problems? You might not be surprised to learn from this article that marijuana kept in a location accessible to many tends to disappear. These issues and the others raised in the article are going to become important as the population ages. Click here to read this story from the New York Times.

The Next Public Health Crisis: Longevity

This is an eye-opening discussion of changing demographics and what it will mean for health care from the New York Times. Click here to read the article.

Sharing a table and much more

This article from the New York Times asks why more seniors don't share housing. It draws a comparison with the tv show "The Golden Girls" that was on in the 1980s, in which four women banded together as roommates. As it happens, I just had a conversation a few days ago with a social worker who specializes in elder issues, and she believes that shared housing is the way of the future. I think it's a good idea for a lot of reasons, but that it will take some getting used to. Click here to read the article. The attached photo from the television show "The Golden Girls" is from Everett Collection and was taken from this article.

Ask an Elder Attorney: Altering the Power of Attorney

I've often had to advise parents not to name all of, several of, or two of their children to act together under legal documents such as Enduring Powers of Attorney. Unfortunately, many parents still choose their representatives based on either "honouring" someone by naming them, or a fear of hurting someone's feelings by leaving them out. Neither of these are good decision-making strategies. The end result is that there are too many cooks in the kitchen. Too many people trying to make decisions. Too little co-operation and compromise between those with legal control over their parents' assets.

In this article by Craig Reaves, who writes a column called The New Old Age  for the New York Times, he addresses the question of how to change the Enduring Power of Attorney when two or more attorneys are not getting along. The article is American and therefore uses American terminology, but the points made are the same that would be made here in Canada.

Mr. Reaves advises readers to take a look at "state law". To find your applicable local law, click on the link provided on this blog to CanLii.org, an excellent, easy-to-use FREE legal research site.

When Possessions Lead to Paralysis

I really enjoyed this article from Paula Span, a New York Times blogger. She's talking about the theory that the process of having to sort things - mentally and emotionally - can keep a senior living in a place that is less than ideal. I particularly recognized and appreciated the description of the transition of the children's attitudes and approaches while helping an elderly parent move. Click here to read the article.

Ignore Generic Financial Advice (Except This Post)

The link below will take you to a recent article from Carl Richards of the New York Times. In it he talks about making sure that when you read general financial information in blogs or newspapers, you have to figure out whether it applies to your own situation before acting on it. I totally agree with Mr. Richards, except that of course I'm concerned with general legal information. Check it out here.