Why oh why don't people think more carefully about choice of executors?

In my daily work, here on my blog and at seminars, I hear stories from individuals about estates gone horribly wrong. Every day brings a new crop of disasters. Something that many of them have in common is that the executor is getting away with something he shouldn't.

Some of the most common complaints are executors who move into the deceased's house and won't pay rent or move out, executors who can't account for money gone missing, executors who won't tell anyone anything and get angry and aggressive when pushed, and executors who just won't do anything. Every now and then I hear stories about documents being forged, burned or hidden. Then there are the executors who basically ignore the will and distribute the estate in a way that they think is better than what the deceased decided, playing favourites and causing havoc in the family.

It makes me wonder. Why are there so many stories like this? Why is the administration of an estate always such a horrendous ordeal?

A big part of the problem is that people don't put any thought at all into the individuals they choose to represent them. If you choose someone because they are related to you, and you deliberately choose to overlook their faults, then why be surprised when they don't have the qualifications they need to do the job? If you didn't make any attempt to get someone honest and organized with good communication skills, why be surprised when the person you chose is shady, disorganized and combative?

I find it astonishing how many parents will put one of their kids in charge of their life savings and trust them with their will, then tell me that the child is bad with money, has borrowed thousands from Mom and Dad during his lifetime, can't get along with his siblings, has a gambling addiction or has a marriage on the rocks. It makes no sense! Why are they doing this?

Is it because people think they legally must put their kids in charge? Is it because they don't think they have other options? Is it because they think the child won't charge a fee? Is it that they have never heard of trust companies?

The longer I work in this business, the more I wonder why people are so blind about their own family members. Unfortunately, the price is paid by the loved ones left behind who have to struggle through the estate administration at the hands of someone who never should have been left in charge.