My step-father is getting my mom's whole estate and I want to see that will

Although I've blogged pretty often on the topic of who can see the will of a deceased person and who cannot, the question continues to come up on this blog because so many people are confronted with that situation in their own lives. A reader recently asked a question that will look familiar to those of you who are wondering about this issue. Here is the question and my comments:

"My mother recently passed and my step father stated that he receives everything. As her son am I allowed to see a copy of will? My son is her only grand child and I am her only son. I find it very suspicious that we are both excluded from the estate."

Just the fact that you are your mother's son does not entitle you to see her will. I know that seems strange, and perhaps even harsh, but if you're not a beneficiary then you have no automatic right to see the will. However, you are a person who has a reasonable and logical expectation of being included in the will. The executor of the will could exercise his discretion to give you a copy. You haven't said who the executor is, but I'm assuming it's the step-father. If he won't give you a copy of the will, you might end up hiring a lawyer to ask formally for a copy of the will on your behalf, in order to prevent you from going to court to try to force him to give you a copy. Most people would prefer to give up a copy rather than pay for a lawsuit.

Whenever I blog on this issue, someone always suggests in the comments that you wait until the will is probated and then get a copy from the court. That is a good idea, as far as it goes. Once a will goes to probate court, it becomes publicly available. However, there is a good possibility that the will is never going to be probated. That will depend on what assets are in the estate and how they are set up (e.g. whether they are jointly owned).

Your mother and her husband could have set up their assets in such a way that he will automatically own most of her assets on her death. For example, your mother could have named him as the beneficiary of her RRSP. He might be a joint owner of their home. If she had a pension, he would automatically be her beneficiary for that. None of that requires that her will be probated. Most of it won't even be visible by looking at the will because it won't be in the estate.

I say this so that you will realize that even if your mother made a will leaving everything to you, that "everything" might amount to nothing if her assets were set up as I describe above.

You mention that  you find the circumstances to be "suspicious". Before reaching that conclusion, consider factors such as the length of their relationship. If she was married to her husband for a long time, there is a possibility that most of her assets were built up during her marriage. On the other hand, if she had significant assets before her marriage, it is quite possible she would want to leave those to you.

Think about the relationship your mother had with you and your son. Were you estranged, on good terms, on excellent terms? Consider what, if anything, she has said to you over the years about her plans for her estate. Has she ever told you directly that she intended to leave something to you and/or your son?

Another very important factor is whether your mother and her husband had a pre-nuptial agreement. If they did, and if the agreement states that each of them will keep their assets separate, then this supports the idea that something might be "off".

If this just doesn't sit right with you and the executor continues to refuse to give you a copy of the will, consider talking to a lawyer local to you about having the lawyer help you get a copy.