New Brunswick family in court battle over husband's remains

Most people probably think that estate fights are about money, or perhaps about individual heirlooms. Many fights are about those things, certainly. But some estate disputes are about how to deal with the deceased's remains.

It's not a well-known fact that the person who has the final say in the disposal of your remains is not your spouse or your children or your parents; it is the executor named in your will. Your executor gets to decide matters such as whether you're cremated, where you're interred, and whether there will be a service held. If there is a difference between what your family wants and what your executor wants in terms of your remains, the executor wins.

Because people want to ensure that their wishes are known and followed, it is popular to include wishes for the disposal of remains in wills. But did you know that the executor can choose to ignore wishes about disposal of the body even when those wishes are set out clearly in the will?

In my view, it's still a good idea to include those wishes in your will for the simple reason that not many executors will deliberately go against the wishes of the deceased. The vast majority of people who accept the job as executor do so out of family obligation or the loyalty of a friendship, and they want to do what the deceased wanted them to do. Other family members will also usually choose to follow the written wishes of the deceased.

There is a family in New Brunswick who is fighting about how to dispose of the remains of David Charles Andrew Mason. He was cremated, then his mother arranged for his ashes to be buried in their family plot. Now his widow wants his ashes moved to another cemetery. The case is complicated by the fact that Mr. Mason was cremated and buried a year ago, which means that the executor (who is also the wife) did not exercise her rights at the time of the disposition of the remains.

Now they're in court. Both sides are incurring legal fees, and have of course lost all privacy in the matter. Perhaps if Mr. Mason had included his funeral wishes in his will, and if his executor had spoken up at the appropriate time, all of this could have been avoided.