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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Executors can steal from estates with no repercussions in Canada - is this true?

Recently there was some discussion on a thread on this blog on the topic of what to do about an executor who is stealing from the estate that he or she is supposed to be administering. One of the comments made by a reader seemed to me to be right from the heart - an expression of anger, bitterness, and resignation. I want to share that comment with you here, and give some thoughts of my own about it.

Here is what the reader said:

"There isn't a damn thing anyone can do about it because the police call it a civil issue and the lawyers are VERY expensive. Basically with my experience Executors can do what ever they want with absolutely NO repercussions in Canada. It is rampant."

I agree with the last sentence of this comment, which is that dishonest and greedy executors milking estates are rampant. This is not to say that no executors are honest and none are trying to do a good job. Of course, there are plenty who are doing their best. However, there are executors all over this country who are mishandling assets, making egregious errors that cost the beneficiaries money, and in some cases just outright stealing from the estate.

Why is it so rampant, and what can be done about it? There are several factors which together create a perfect storm for a greedy or selfish person to take advantage of an estate.

The first factor is the choice of executor. I'm sorry, but at some point, some of you are going to have to ask yourselves why in HELL Mom or Dad put the one sibling in charge who is known to be a bully, or a gambling addict, or greedy. Parents blindly put the oldest child, or the only male child, or the one who lives closest to them on the will as executor without any consideration whatsoever of how that's going to work out. Part of this is a refusal by parents to admit their child's faults, part of it is an unwillingness to insult the kids by getting an independent third party involved, and part of it is that they are trying to do everything as cheaply as possible. If parents would only make more realistic choices for their wills, they wouldn't put their kids through so much stress, anger, frustration, and fighting.

Most parents out there should be thinking about naming a trust company as their executor. Yes, I do mean "most" because all of these executors who are stealing from estates are family members, usually the kids. Of course it costs money when the trust company administers the estate, but it costs money even when the kids do it, and giving up 3% to a trust company should be easier to swallow than giving up 75 - 100% to a thief. And if a trust company makes a mistake that costs the estate money, the regulations for banks and trust companies allow for the recovery of the funds.

Parents whose estates are extremely modest should consider naming someone such as a longtime family friend, cousin, or longtime business associate to work together with one of the kids as co-executors. Yes, they do have to agree on everything and that's not always easy, but at least you will have built in an extra safeguard. By the way, don't assume that your estate is too modest for a trust company. If you have a house, a car and an RRSP/RRIF, you are in the ballpark.

A second major factor that contributes to the ease with which executors ride roughshod over estates is that executors don't know what they are doing and rarely like to hear advice that goes against their preconceived ideas.

There is a widespread belief among executors that the will gives them full legal rights to do whatever they want. They move into the deceased's home, give away personal goods to anyone they like, use estate funds to live on for months or years, set up businesses and give loans to their family members with estate funds. By the time a lawyer or a banker straightens out that misconception, the executor feels that he or she has already gotten away with it, and sees no need to change anything. You would also be surprised at how many executors only tell the estate lawyer half the story and don't even divulge the existence of some of the assets.

A third factor is that beneficiaries let things get too far before they speak up about something. Many beneficiaries write to me on this blog and tell me that is has been years since the deceased passed away and they've heard nothing. Really, years? By the time the beneficiaries speak up, the estate is drained and the executor has spent the money, and no amount of litigation is going to bring it back. Beneficiaries are too willing to accept anecdotal information from friends or co-workers, or to accept everything the executor says because they think he knows more than they do.

This area is the one in which I think individuals can do the most to protect their interest in an estate. Ask for a copy of the will immediately. Insist on progress reports. Ask specific questions about specific assets, such as the selling price of the house. Know your rights. Talk to other beneficiaries, read blogs, see what local legal resource centres or seniors' centres have to say that can inform you.

As soon as there is a problem, such as the executor refusing to divulge information to which you are entitled, take action. You have a right to expect the estate to move along efficiently and you should let the executor know you expect that. Acting sooner can make the difference between a one-day court application to have a slow-moving or secretive executor removed, and a ten-week full-blown trial to determine where the money went. Acting sooner is more cost-effective as well as much more likely to catch mistakes or frauds before they engulf the entire estate.

When I say to act quickly, I don't mean to say that you should always sue the executor. Other means such as demand letters, mediation, negotiation, case management, or family meetings with an independent third party may bring about the result you want.

This brings me to the fourth factor that I want to mention: In our legal system, it costs money to enforce your civil rights. Not all of us have extra cash laying around to hire lawyers, and yes, lawyers are expensive when it comes to lawsuits. Aggressive and greedy executors count on the fact that the beneficiaries may not have the cash to hire a lawyer. Many executors have actually been known to threaten the beneficiaries that if a lawsuit is started, the executor will use the whole estate to fight it.

There are other options. The reader's comment that the police will say it's a civil matter is not universally true. I can say this from my own experience with clients who consulted me because the police were investigating them for executor fraud. It is true that the vast majority of estate-related issues are settled through the civil courts using remedies such as removing the executor, requiring passing of accounts, or ordering an executor to forego his executor's compensation. If you want the police to respond to an allegation of theft, you are going to need some evidence to go on.

Even within the civil system, some things cost more than others. The most expensive thing you can hire a lawyer to do is sue someone, especially in a complicated case involving a will and the grey areas of executor's responsibility and beneficiaries' rights. This is why you need to see a lawyer with plenty of experience in estate work who will think of other options to try before committing to a draining lawsuit.

In conclusion, I certainly feel for the reader who left this comment. Thousands of executors steal from their siblings and it's heart-breaking for each and every one of them. I honestly hope that the blog posts and books I write help parents, executors, and beneficiaries alike make some more informed choices. Would any of you like to add your two bits to the reader's original comment? I'd love to hear your thoughts.


74 comments:

  1. My brother was "handling" the expenses for my mom and aunt after my father passed away (without a will) in 2003. He set up a new account with my mom where he had signing authority, and gained signing authority on my aunt's account, after both were diagnosed with dementia.

    My aunt passed away in 2008 (with a will—all assets to myself, my brother, and my sister) and my mom in 2011 (without a will): it wasn't until 2013 that I managed to get all the estates into probate. As Estate Trustee, I then found that funds had been drained by my brother from all the accounts; most notably, from my father's account (jointly held with my mother; the bank had not been informed my feather had passed away): but the bank involved has refused to release any documentation concerning the transactions in question (transferring funds from my parent's joint account to the new one where my brother had signing authority) because more than 7 years has passed.

    It seems that my brother was stalling for as long as needed so that his theft of funds from my father's account would be so covered; and although I have taken the matter to the police, there seems to be little that can be done.

    Meanwhile, my brother lives in my aunt's house; my sister (co-executor with me on all three estates) lives in my parent's house, and both are refusing to liquidate any remaining estate assets so that they can be divided up equally. It seems that sale by partition for the properties is the only way forward (it has been longer than three years since the last principle owner passed away; my mother, who owned one house and had a half interest in the other), but, I have had difficultly finding a lawyer who will handle this matter without charging a large retainer up front... all of this occurred in a small town and as a result little independent headway appears likely from any quarter.

    Basically, almost all assets from the three estates have been diverted to my brother and sister, with little going to me even though I am an Estate Trustee: my sister has blocked any sale of properties or of estate assets. So it does appear to me that people who refuse to act honorably in estate matters can do so with virtual impunity, so long as they drag things out beyond the point where evidence is available for criminal charges to be laid.

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  2. I agree with the reader. The Executor of the estate I am beneficiary to won't show me anything. I don't know about bank accounts or if there was a life insurance policy or anything else. . . completely in the dark. The attorney said the executor legally has a year to deal with estate issues before giving me an account. It has been almost a year and a half. It is very difficult to make contact with the executor and I think he purposely does not answer my calls. I wrote a letter, but did not get a response. Not sure what to do next.

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    1. I don't believe that is correct. The executor has a year to administer the estate and gather all assets to a trust fund but you can ask for progress reports and back up documentation at any time.

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    2. First statement is correct. I'm dealing with this now over my grandmother's estate. I saw a lawyer at 8mths post death and had just received the copy of Will finally and only due to my refusing to release my own father's death certificate for income taxes to be accomplished. My dad was a co-executor on the Will but is pre-deceased. The lawyer advices that 8mths was too soon to have her removed as excutor and the best I could do at that time was to send a letter from his office asking for details of the estate - at a consult and letter cost of $400 I did as he recommended. She never responded to his letter. In just over 1mth time from my sending that letter my grandmother's home was repossessed from the bank -the most valuable portion of the estate to my knowledge. For the 10 months the executors son has been living in the home at the expense of the estate. None of the banking or creditors have been informed of her death nor has the excutor got a lawyer. I am faced now with finding a lawyer to issue legal action yo remove her as excutor and I don't know if there's any value left to estate since as a beneficiary I do not get the information of debt to assets. I hope after this whole process I'm able to press criminal charges because I have a very bad feeling they have been using my grandmother's debt and credit cards over the last 10mths too.

      The beneficiaries have no rights to protect themselves. There needs to be some sort of pass the accounts at a 6mth or sooner mark so that the government can hold them accountable to not mess around. 12mth is too long to wait when mortgages and property taxes as well as gas and hydro are in the equation

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    3. I'm going through this right now... I'm at 10mths and I'm only allowed to move forward and spend more of my money to remove excutor because I spent $400 for a lawyer consult and letter sent to excutor for update without a response and the house was repossessed at the end of May.
      I am beyond angry at this system that offers no accountability earlier in the process to save assets of the estate sooner. The res no point of doing a passing of the accounts when there is no money left in the end due to fraud

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  3. How can you find out if you are a beneficiary in the first place? Can an executor just never bother to contact a named beneficiary? It seems like there lots of ways for executors to not follow the will and/or break the rules without anyone finding out till much later.

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    1. Yup. My excutor never told me. I found out from others and only had proof when I refused to release my father's death certificate that's needed for taxes on the estate.

      In the meantime the house was repossessed even after I saw a lawyer over the managing of estate.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I agree with the reader. I am involved in a case where we were refused information about the contents of a will, were forced to gain access to that information through legal representation, have had several orders placed on the executors who have not followed through on those orders and who have suffered no recourse for the actions, have taken money from the estate to give to other family members to put up as security for loans for new business ventures, have taken money from the elderly relative (very large sums of money) without ever mentioning it to that person or even asking for permission to do so and when asked why by lawyers responded "because I wanted the money", purchased big ticket toys such as snowmobiles, ATVs, expensive cars, etc., through estate funds, etc., etc.! We are no heading to 3 years of still trying to get through discovery phase because of many of their delays and not obeying court orders and are forced to represent ourselves because there's way too much cost for legal representation. All this while they continue to spend money that they did not have previous to the death of the elderly relative who they took advantage of while that person were still alive, spending money that they have moved in and out of various accounts and joint investment portfolios. I just want to take it to the Police but were told that they may not take on the case because it's too much investigation required and also that it would mean that the case would now be handled by them rather than the lawyers and be held up for a longer period of time. Me and my family just want to see justice done, we don't care about the money. We have even been told that because of the age of the executors, they would not suffer any consequences (ie. charges or jail time) for their actions. So, where in God's name in Canada do we find justice that protects this from happening to elderly people and their families? I have been searching for some support but cannot find it!

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    1. I have been preyed on in the same way. I have an Estate that has not been settled for over 11 years and me and my sister had no idea, I was 14 years old my mother was a single mother whose life was taken. PLEASE COMMENT HERE IF YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED, I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A GROUP ON FACEBOOK FOR ALL OF US THAT HAVE SUFFERED INJUSTICE BY A REPRESENTATIVE OF AN ESTATE- WE MUST BAND TOGETHER, I WOULD LIKE TO CREATE A MOVEMENT. WE MUST CHANGE THE LAWS IN CANADA. WE MUST PROTECT BENEFICIARIES AND CHANGE THE LAWS THAT GOVERN THE ATROCIOUS ACTIONS OF EXECUTORS. Please help me and every other family going through this to get justice! Thank you!

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    2. In my opinion, we have some pretty good laws that govern the behaviour of executors. I am not convinced they need changing. What I perceive as the problem is access. For one, access to accurate information is difficult. Secondly, the cost of hiring a lawyer to enforce the law is prohibitive for many. In other words, the law exists, if you know about it and can afford to hire someone to fight for you. I've always thought there should be some sort of government department that provides oversight of executors since some of them take advantage. So, set up your Facebook page, and best of luck with it.

      Lynne

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  6. Sadly agree with your reader's comment. I fought my brother for over four years while I suspected he was lying to me and stealing. The lawyer I hired didn't take my concerns seriously but finally got a court order for my brother to pass his accounts in November after I literally begged for it. My brother ignored the order and then admitted to me a month later that he'd drained the estate account and could not provide accounting. It would be pointless to pay money to hold him in contempt. There is no point spending more money to sue him, he apparently has no money to repay what he took from the estate. The lawyer suggested I press charges, and of course the police said it was a civil matter even though there was admission of theft over $5,000. My glimmer of hope that there would be consequences for his actions faded very quickly. My lawyer said my only option now is doing a "private prosecution", but couldn't help me prepare it and I have no idea even where to begin. Basically I paid my expensive legal bill and now am on my own, apparently with no real hope of seeing my brother punished for stealing almost $80,000 and never doing our father's taxes. I genuinely feel for all your readers who have found themselves in this unfortunate situation. If I had to do it all over again I can assure you I would not have been so trusting, and not being able to trust someone is a horrible thing.

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    1. That's awful. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Something that stood out for me is that you had to beg your lawyer to get that order. If you have to beg someone to do work you've hired them to do, get someone else!

      Lynne

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  7. P.s what I truly don't understand is how if stole $80,000 cash from someone's home I would be charged with theft yet these administrators can steal large sums of money and it is almost impossible to have charges laid.

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    1. I would like to hear some comments about estate PLANNING in advance. How does advance planning prevent much of this largely unreported theft of estates by executors? One way to do that is simple. Have as many assets, as reasonably possible, placed in a Segregated (insurance) fund account. In this way, direct named beneficiaries need not have to wait for the executor. One way this can be void is if client names ESTATE as beneficiary. I know there are companies selling executor insurance for executors, but this need can be reduced with the use of a Seg fund(IVIC), and the naming of the beneficiaries, other than ESTATE. Thoughts?

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    2. It is possible to use financial instruments such as segregated funds, RRSPs, RRIFs, life insurance policies, and some others to direct funds to beneficiaries on the death of the owner.

      However, with estate planning, it's necessary to make each and every beneficiary designation work with the bigger picture. Someone who was considering using a fund as you suggest would have to consider a number of things such as taxation of the estate, whether the type of fund being used (e.g. if it were an RRSP) would be taxed and if so where the tax was coming from, equal treatment of beneficiaries, access to funds by minor beneficiaries before they are old enough to inherit, whether the beneficiary designation allows the owner to state an age of inheritance (usually it does not). These and other considerations must be thought out. It's also essential to compare the use of beneficiary designations to other vehicles such as trusts. It's impossible to say that any one particular method of doing something will work for everyone, or even for the majority.

      In terms of planning in advance, a huge proportion of the problems we read about could have been avoided if the testator had just admitted his or her kids weren't perfect and hired a trust company to be the executor.

      Lynne

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    3. We have asked the Trust company several times in writing for copies of the Terminal and Estate tax returns and they are not producing them. There were large assets and as well charitable gifts still to be disbursed. We think there are huge tax credits and thus tax refunds to be applied for. They are silent on this topic.They will no doubt be asking all the beneficiaries to simply sign a release in fact that is what the Trust Officer proposed .What can we do? I know we can ask them to have the court have the accounts passed. We only want to see how they have handled the capital gains tax and the tax refunds. The clearance certificate from the Canada Revenue Agency has been received . A court approved accounting will be very costly but we are getting no where. The Trust company is just ignoring our letters. We could ask a lawyer to write a letter. We do not want to end up in litigation. The assets are over 1 M. There are many beneficiaries who no doubt just want their money and don't care as it was an unexpected gift.

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  8. My mother passed away last month and already my sister who is both Executor and Beneficiary and had Power of Attorney has admitted she's given away, thrown away, or disposed of all the household assets to people not named as Beneficiaries. There are only three. Myself, my brother who cannot be located, and my sister. What can I do? I am also aware she's been spending copious amounts of the money while mom was in a Care Home that provided all her needs. Mom never paid 500.00 for a pair of shoes in her life, but my sister was using estate funds to buy expensive and luxury items for mom. Is there anyway to hold my sister accountable. She is already threatening to delay probating the Will.

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    1. I think you are going to have to realize from the start that you are quite likely dealing with one of those executors I usually call Little Napoleons. She has no idea what she's doing and thinks she has much more authority than she really has. If anyone is going to rein her in, it has to be you. So you have to decide how important these things are to you. If you, like most people, find estate matters extremely important, you are going to have to hire a lawyer to enforce your rights. As a beneficiary you do have rights, and one of them is for the executor not to give away things that belong in the estate.

      I would suggest that because you are sisters, and because court procedures are extremely expensive, you might consider dealing with some of the issues by way of mediation. It's much faster, way cheaper, and a heck of a lot less antagonistic. It only works if everyone involved wants it to work, but your chances of that happening are much greater if mediation is suggested before you spend months or years dragging each other through the courts (and the mud).

      I don't know that you'd have much success objecting to luxury goods for your mother, since the money was your mother's and it was spent on her. If it had been spent on your sister, that's a different matter.

      In any event, I don't think this estate is going to be easy on you. Hang in there.

      Lynne

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  9. It seems, then, that there is a consensus that those who have managed to position themselves to steal from estates can do so with impunity, in that it is extremely unlikely that the police will charge them with a crime. I suppose that the police generally direct their resources toward preventing crime, and this means arresting and charging those who would continue to commit crimes (or those who commit egregious crimes well within the public eye). So, with theft from an estate being a more or less "one off" kind of crime; and with this sort of crime relegated to the "private affairs" of "family matters" I guess the police have neither incentive nor inclination to charge those who commit theft from estates. It also seems to me that "proof of a crime" is a disingenuous defense on their part, since it is precisely their role in an investigation to uncover such proof; and if they are unwilling to put in the effort to do so, then there is no way it is going to happen. In my case, I suspect that there was proof of forgery in bank records that would have established my brother took money from an account he was unauthorized to access by forging my mother's signature; but by the time I caught on to this, the bank said that they were under no obligation to release the documents in question (seven years had passed) and the police declined to press the issue as it was, in their eyes, "a family matter."

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    1. This is a very eloquent explanation of the reasons the police don't get involved. Add to this the fact that the police know the will and other probate documents are already in the courts, and that the civil courts are available to deal with executors (assuming the beneficiaries can afford to enforce their rights).

      Lynne

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  10. Nonetheless, such situations are still very disconcerting — less so than that which defines the issue of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women in Canada, but, in a similar vein of dismissal and inaction on the part of the police.

    In my situation, the complaint I registered with the police did at least result in them interviewing my brother and sister; and from this, I discovered another unaccounted $7,500 my brother had made as an unrecoverable "loan" to a friend.

    Having retained a lawyer (from a larger city near the small one where all of this has unfolded), at least a motion has been obtained for my sister to pass accounts in the estates involved — although she hasn't done so yet, and is now two months past the deadline she was given (yes, she is stalling again). Happily, the lawyer registered a motion of legal action against the two properties involved, so neither my brother or sister can do anything which affects the status of those properties until this is settled. I must confess, though, that I was much more hopeful before I read other peoples' posts here, that more or less say that a judge's order to pass accounts isn't necessarily going to make much of a difference if the parties so named refuse to co-operate... and if the only recourse there is to press for a contempt of court ruling, aren't we back to the same issue of whether or not the police will actually do anything?

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  11. I was recently directed to an excellent column by Dr. Marcia Sirota on the topic of "Sibling Abuse." My reading of this article, in the context of my situation, suggests to me that: if someone is in a situation where a sibling seems to be engaged in an abusive relationship with an elder (a parent), then, you might want to suspect that abuse of by the sibling will be directed toward oneself, too.

    That was certainly the case with my brother and sister: 5 and 4 years older than I, apparently they never resolved issues centered around the attention I was given when I was born — attention they felt was directed away from themselves. So, they isolated my aunt and mom in the last stages of their lives, taking money out of their accounts — elder abuse — and now they won't settle the estates with me — sibling abuse — all in the attempt to compensate themselves for the attention they feel they were denied when younger.

    You can find the article here, if I can post a link in this forum: http://marciasirotamd.com/trauma-recovery/the-inevitability-of-fractured-sibling-relationships-in-dysfunctional-families

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    1. Thanks for that. Yes, the link works, and I hope people take the time to go read the post. Siblings are horrible to each other when they act as executors. They seem to see it as their chance to get revenge for any and every slight ever perpetrated in childhood. Of course I don't mean ALL executors, as some do just fine. But I do see an awful lot of really hostile sibling executors.

      Lynne

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    2. Lon;
      This is the exact position I'm in now. 7 years difference and me as the baby. The worst part was watching my sister abuse my mom and seeing the helpless look on my moms face and knowing I couldn't do a damn thing. I've called police, OPGT, worked with CCAC, seniors' abuse officer....and no help from any of them. My mom is in a home now and my sister has spent over $5000. in 'clothing' for her. I have spent thousands of $$ on lawyers to no avail. It won't be a surprise to me when she walks off with moms entire estate. There is no help out there for honest people.

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    3. It is now four years since the estates in question were brought to probate; and a judge has at last heard my case, and removed my sister as co-executor (leaving me as sole executor). Hopefully, I will be able to wrap up the estates in question within the next year and sell the two properties involved quickly; but almost ten years have passed now since my aunt died with a will, and only now does it look like that estate has a chance of being settled!

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    4. LonCayeway, I'm really glad that your application succeeded and now you can get on with the estate. Ten years is such a long time to have that kind of thing hanging over you.

      Lynne

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  12. Lynne, you and others advise people to be careful and responsible in their choice of who to appoint as Executor.

    But what about the lawyer drafting the will? Why is this person not professionally obligated to ask difficult questions in the course of creating a powerful legal instrument that could break apart and financially ruin an entire family?

    There seems to be an element of 'hit and run' the way legal experts are allowed to prepare these documents without using care or even common sense in doing the job.

    For example, it is astonishing to me that there is no requirement that a lawyer ask if the person to be named Executor is in chronic debt, has criminal convictions, or - even more important perhaps - is on speaking terms with the rest of the family.

    But lawyers are allowed to create these trustee time bombs in people's estate plans and remain safe from consequences because the damage done is not realized usually until decades later.

    And then grieving families are left to deal with the damage.

    I think there should be some requirement that a lawyer must investigate the risks he or she is creating while drafting a will and facilitating the appointment of trustees.

    Otherwise, what is the justification for charging a lawyer's fee for the service?

    Diane

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    1. Hi. I answered your question in a new blog post.

      Lynne

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    2. Our 'estate attorney' hired LawPro the minute we brought several disturbing irregularities to his attention. He'd better get ready to write a big check otherwise this story is going to be all over the cover of the Toronto newspapers. He turned a blind eye, bought the Executor's bs and is now scrambling.
      Tell me Lynne, I know lawyers are only human as well, but why not pick up a phone and check with the other two beneficiaries to confirm what their impressions of what the estate should be worth or consist of, just to cover your butt? Or do they not teach you how to recognize a sociopath when you meet with one in law school?

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    3. Lawyers don't "check with other beneficiaries" because the other beneficiaries are not their clients. Only the executor is the client. You are misled by the clause "estate attorney" (or, as we say in Canada, the estate lawyer) because you think it means the lawyer works for the beneficiaries. He or she does not. The lawyer works only for the executor. Hopefully you have all the facts straight before you go to press because right now, you don't.

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  13. Start screaming at your elected representatives to start taking Executor theft much more seriously. Was happy to read that a woman in Peterborough who stole $25k from the beneficiaries had been charged in criminal court, which is a good start.
    Is it going to take the courts being clogged with these civil estate matters before someone does something? If an accountant stole money from his employer, he'd be in jail so fast his head would spin, yet name someone Executor and PoA for Finances and you might as well leave the safe door wide open.
    Good luck to those who can't afford a lawyer, because then you are truly - to use the proper legal term - screwed...The only reason I am able to take our Executor to court is because I have the finances to do so, but why should it cost the taxpayer $25,000 to handle what the criminal courts should be addressing? We have the paper trail, so exactly what IS the problem??

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  14. The problem is that the Executor has been royally screwed over by their own sibling who received $250k+ by their mother while the Executor, who did nothing wrong, repeat nothing wrong to their parent, got a big fat $000000. To all those dishonest, scumbag daughters/sons out there who wondered why their parent appointed their sister/brother Executor, why not check how YOU blew through all the money their parent left you? But denial is vast & im sure you will all justify why you weren't named Executor! Dishonest, toxic, cancerous sibling(s)!

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  15. My grandfather (widower) had three children but one predeceased him (my mom). He made a Will naming his 2 surviving children (per stirpes) as joint executors and beneficiaries of everything.


    Would I (as an only child) have a legitimate claim to what would have been my mothers share if she was alive? And if so, is there a time limit on me taking action?

    Does it make any difference that his Will named only the two surviving children?

    Thank you

    Scott

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    1. Scott,
      Based on what you've told me, you have no claim to anything from your grandfather's estate. He was not obligated to leave anything to your mom because she was an independent adult. Parents are not required to leave anything to their kids if they are adults and are not disabled.

      Lynne

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    2. If your mother was not listed in the Will then the answer is No. If she had been named in Will with " per Stirpes" then yes

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  16. My grandmother died in 2010
    Her daughter was suppost to be the executor.
    She died misteriously and anne m. Silverman some how became the executor. About a year or so back (2015?)I recieved a call from David silverman who called me from a florida number and advised me I would be recieving a check for $300 canadian dollars wich I thought was rediculous seeing as how my grandmother was quite well off. So he advised me to call his sister and to never call him at the number again. Well since the law firm of anne m. Silverman is no longer in business. Its like they dropped off the face of the earth. And the check I recieved is uncashable.

    My question is Do you know of anne silverman or david silverman ? Does or did their firm ever exist? And is there a way I can get in touch with either? They are listed on a few canadian law firm sites but says they are not in the database.

    Thank you for your time.

    Sincerly, Micah Militello.

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    1. The law society of Upper Canada (Ontario) lists Anne Silverman as having given up her license to practice law, in a way that looks to me as if she had been disbarred. This is why she does not show up in current databases.

      However, the law society may still have information about her whereabouts and about who has her files now that she is not practicing. Give them a call directly and they may just be able to help you.

      Lynne

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  17. My older sibling somehow stole the entirety of my mom's estate (from my dad) and the inheritance he left in the exact amount as he left for my sister.

    I was too young to even comprehend that anyone could do that but, it got worse. Her and her husband then bullied mom's house away from her, exploiting her as a disabled person with a communication limitation, as well. Then, they moved her w/o letting anyone know where she was for SEVEN years!

    By that time, she had mom seen by doctors who didn't know her, didn't bother to get her medical records and they thought she had a brain problem. They threw her in a home.

    I had to fight like hell to get my mom placed someplace safe and everyone knew what she did and wasn't correcting but no one did diddly on the estate side.

    I think we should have laws that are Federal and prosecuted by gov not personal lawyers.

    It makes it feel like the whole world never cared to be honest to just leave it like this.

    It is a crime that keeps repeating w/o the initial $ too because the continuum of life has been violently destroyed. I mean these fraudulent bullies who cause this sh-- are putting others into poverty from greed with legal gov tender. It's not just the fraud, it IS an act of violence for a sibling to go against their parents knowing it will cause (particularly though it's wrong either way, ill people) to live in a way that makes them suffer and, makes them helpless to quickly recover from an attack with such theft. I see no difference between stealing birthright money and severing someone's spinal cord; the injury is paralyzing and long term to turn it back before the attack happened.

    The theives in these cases are ignored largely because gov sees it as a family issue. I disagree that that definition will ever reverse it for victims now and prevent it from happening to others.

    Legal gov tender is only a tool for our free society to function harmoniously.
    The gov, themselves, must stand up and send a strong message about being in the fight to protect the use of this tender from those who abuse it and misuse it for the sole intent of causing others grave physical harm.

    If corruption ever has a chance of stopping, it's going to have to start with gov speaking to the public about it and bringing as many past abusers who got away with it, to justice. Stricter laws. My sister just forgerged my signature and went to a bank teller who didn't know her and, in the blink of an eye, my parents dreams for me were decimated along with mother's freedom and health. (My sister also took my mom to a quack dentist who pulled all of her healthy teeth to make it harder for her to talk to anyone about what they did to her....scott free!)

    I'm never going to forgive her for it.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm really sorry to hear about what happened with your mom. I agree that our legal system, when it comes to estate matters, needs some serious updating and improving. It seems to be based on an old-fashioned honour system that lets the dishonourable get away with a hell of a lot.

      Lynne

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  18. My brother and sister are coexecutors of my mother's estate. My sister found bank records and a ledger book indicating that my mother over a two year period lent my brother $36,000.00 leaving her with .76 cents in her bank account and she was 90 at the time. She made him sign a Loan Agreement drafted by her lawyer but unfortunately when her lawyer retired my brother got hold of the my mother's will and loan agreement and destroyed them. We were able to get a new will done based on a copy of the old will but my mother had dementia and she could not remember the loan and at the time my sister and I had no idea how much my brother had taken from our mother. In my mother's ledger book which she kept until my brother stopped paying when he destroyed the loan agreement, he still owed over $10,000. My sister refused to try to collect and will not had over the bank records and ledger book. Can she arbitrarily decided to not collect the loan or can I insist that my portion be collected. Of course my greedy brother states he paid the loan back in full but there is proof to the contrary that I have in my possession. am not greedy but my brother taking every cent of my mother's savings made the last years of her life miserable as she could not afford basic health items and she could not move into the care home she wanted. I have hired an estate lawyer but I don't know if I can refuse to sign until this situation is resolved. I mean 30,000 does not just vanish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisette,
      No, she cannot unilaterally decide not to collect a debt owed to the estate. It's her job as executor to deal with it legally.

      I don't know what it is that you're refusing to sign but if it's the probate application that contains an inventor of the estate and the money owing doesn't show on the inventory, then I can see why you wouldn't sign it.

      If your sister will not hand over the ledger books she is not only refusing to carry out her job as executor but she is preventing you from doing yours as well. You are probably going to have to take a tough stance and insist, formally, that she release the information to you. If she does not, you should consider using the courts to compel her to either a) hand over the material, or b) renounce as executor and let you get on with it.

      Lynne

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  19. I left my wife because she has taken over $300.000 and counting.Police said its a Civil matter.I just found a box of papers full of black and white proof.My Ex was even stealing pension Cheques.I went today to my local M.P.
    Im sure Revenue Canada sould be able to get invoulved if someone does not declare income.Everyone needs to put pressure on Elected officials to change the laws.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My grandma is still alive and the executor has a joint account with with my grandma she has now sold my grandma's house and is planning on using the money from the sale of her (my grandma's house) to make a big purchance in the range of $200k and has already spend close to 70k from the bank account my grandma is still alive and is in a nursing home with dementia is what the executor doing legal ? Should she be meeting the people in the will known as to what she's spending the money on ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fact that someone is your grandma's executor has no meaning while your grandma is still alive. So forget that she's an executor. It has nothing to do with anything and if she says otherwise, she is wrong.

      No, she should not be meeting with the people under the will. They have no say in anyone spending your grandma's money! The money belongs to your grandma and nobody else.

      If she sold your grandma's house, she most likely has an enduring power of attorney in which your grandma appointed this person to manage her financial affairs. That would explain how she got the authority to sell your grandma's house.

      The fact that she is using the money for her own purposes - or for ANY purpose other than spending it on your grandma's care and happiness - is a big problem. Under an enduring power of attorney she is not allowed to do that. She is not allowed to use that money for herself or her kids or her husband.

      It's true that when there is a joint account, either party can remove money from the account legally and that muddies the waters here. However, if the money came from the sale of the house by a POA, there is no way the joint owner of the account should have access to it.

      If this person is spending as you believe she is, then she needs to be stopped, either by the civil process (using a lawyer to sue her) or by the police.

      Lynne

      Delete
    2. Can this be investagated without her knowledge or is it once the police/lawyer get involved she will know what I'm doing? I'm sure if I asked her to see the account she wouldn't let me see them and deny ever spending any money

      Delete
    3. I expect that at some point she would find out that the police were investigating. They'll get all the court documents and other information they can first, but I would expect at some point they'll talk to her.

      If you're going through the legal process, she'll know pretty much right away because we have to serve documents on anyone we sue.

      Lynne

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    4. Are you in Ontario??
      Revenue Canada snitch line also.
      She also has to pay tax on this money.You can make a complaint without Her knowledge to Public Guardian they will remove Her.
      But you better have proof.
      Not hear say.

      Delete
    5. Thank you everyone :)

      Delete
  21. Contact the Office Public Guardian and make a complaint before all the money is gone.You can not use that money as a P.O.A.to buy a house.

    ReplyDelete
  22. My sister and me are charged as coexecutors in my mother's estate. She passed away nearly a year go with a vague Will that was prepared in 1994. My sister, 6 years my senior with whom I have been in conflict nearly my whole life, notified me she had changed my mom's address to hers. She removed the sentimental items from my mom's apartment. I am a recently diagnosed autistic adult and she has withheld my mom's phone book preventing me from connecting with family and friends of family following my mom's passing. Those items themselves mean little to me, it's the smell I long for. Like smelling my childhood and the comfort of my mom who passed just a few months prior to receiving my official diagnosis.

    Although I had secured the sale of her car back to the dealership my mom had purchased it, it was gone when I went to pick it up to take there. More than a month later I found it in my driveway the day the insurance expired, with a note saying the property I was referring to was in the trunk. I located a box with a few items that were named in the Will for me and my children. One of which passed at 19, just 5 month after my mom.
    Based on the with holding documents, information, theft, deceit and a physical assault that took place on me and my daughter the night my mom passed, I refused to go to open the estate account.
    I asked her repeated to take the taxes to my mom's accountant who agreed she was acting unilaterally.
    Complicating matters, my cousin is my mom's investment person. At the time of my mom's passing my sister gave me two photocopies of my mom's investments. When we were still on speaking terms I mentioned wanting to request the supporting documents to the investments, my sister's response was we need to be careful with ***. I said why, he works for us. She also said he didn't require a copy of the Will, that it was none of his business, but it appears as though it is from the letter of indemnity he sent me to complete. He wasn't returning my phone calls, a trip to the bank revealed my mom wrote a cheque to the firm in Nov 2016. Records were left behind from December 2016 forward, but nothing prior. When I enquire whether he has spoke to my sister now and if I am able to get 3-5 years supporting documents, he told me it wasn't necessary and that he is waiting on my sister and I so he can move forward.
    I paid a lawyer to send her a letter in December. She took the taxes to the accountant who is now pressing me to sign for him to be given authorization to represent for CRA. She asked me if I was going to pay him. I asked for the invoice, again along with all the other documentation she has and an itemized list of the property. What records she was keeping. I received notice she had paid him and that he is going to be acting as an assistant to the estate because I had hired him even though I'm not certain what his tole is going to be?!? I text him asking what arrangements had been made, but again they are vague. He is now being insistent that it's time to go to the bank to open up the estate account. He as much as threatened to quit as accountant when I thanked him and indicated my sister and I have a few things to still work out.
    My aunt thinks there is a lot more going on here than meets the eye with my sister and cousin. She thinks they thought with my previously undiagnosed developmental disability they figured I would be so naive and hungry for the money I wouldn't ask questions. Instead, I received a letter from Developmental Services Ontario stating I have an actual disability that entitles me to accommodations. I am awaiting the appointment of a protection worker but that could take months or who knows how long, and I am running out of time.


    All I heard over the last 20 years was, no probate and no lawyers will be needed when the time comes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody should ever promise in advance that probate will not be needed and that lawyers will not be needed. There are just too many variables, the largest of which is the way people behave.

      It has turned out that your Mom's choice of executors was not a good one. She should have known you two couldn't work together on this if you've been in conflict with your sister your whole life. It's too bad, but she must have over-estimated one or both of you.

      Best of luck going forward. It sounds as if you're going to have plenty of challenges.

      Lynne

      Delete
  23. Hi Lynne,
    Our family has also succumbed to the weak Canadian Estate legislation. I have two sisters (out of six siblings) in cahoots with one brother who has essentially walked past each and every supposed estate checkpoint with a smile and a wave. Meanwhile provoking and bullying the we remaining siblings.

    These two sisters held a paper under our 90 year old mother's nose right after my fathers passing. They then put her in a nursing home closest to where my brother lived and arranged for staff to monitor visits by the rest of us. Subsequently selling the vehicle and house and dividing the proceeds (as they also managed to obtain poa status). House contents and possessions were also ransacked. We refused to sign a release. Thet completed a partial distribution which we had to jump hoops to obtain. They've meanwhile withdrawn additional monies without a tax clearance or passing of accounts. They has stonewalled all requests foe an accounting. Does our current system allow for theft and extortion and if not, what is our recourse?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry to hear about this mess. It's got to be horrendous for you.

      Most of the legislation we need is actually in place. What stops many people from using it is a combination of a) not knowing what the law says and b) affording a lawsuit. In our system if someone behaves in a way that costs you a financial loss (car accident, negligence, estate mismanagement, etc) you have to sue them to enforce your rights.

      When their actions are so bad that they transcend civil law and become criminal (theft, fraud, etc) then you can call the police like anyone else can. The police will investigate based on your information but you cannot guarantee that there will be enough evidence out there to convict someone.

      Some people are so cocky they abuse the system in every possible way, assuming that other people either will tolerate it or not catch on, or just won't want the cost and trouble of stopping them.

      Lynne

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  24. It is now seven years since my mom passed away; five years since her estate, my father's estate, and my aunt's estate was brought into probate; that's ten years after my aunt passed away, and fifteen since my dad passed away. I finally managed to have my (older) sister removed as a co-executor by a judge last October, and managed to sell two properties (one my sister was living in, the other my older brother was living in) this past spring. In the course of clearing out the houses (no help doing that from either of them), I managed to find evidence of their mistreatment of my aunt and mother. My brother and sister had purchased a portable "motorcycle lift" — such as would be used in a garage — in case my aunt "fell and they couldn't get her back into bed"; their reason being, "it costs $80 every time the ambulance has to be called" (she lived literally half a block from the hospital). My brother was living off of money in the account of my aunt and mom; I also found a check book, from the account shared by my mom and dad, with voided checks where he had tried to have my mom sign checks made out to him — but she couldn't remember her name and signed them incorrectly (she had advanced Alzheimer's disease). This was after he had set up an account where he was co-signer with her, and this was how he siphoned money from her account with my dad into that account (he didn't tell the bank my dad had passed away). He set the new account up precisely three days after my mom was diagnosed with dementia by the hospital (I have the medical records). I went to the police four years ago but they wouldn't press charges because "it is a family matter". Now I have the check book, but I don't know if it would be worth my while to try and have the police revisit the matter — they seem to have made up their mind not to do anything about what seems to be a pretty clear-cut case of financial elder abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hello, my sister was named executor on my parents estate. My father passed away on July 15th and has already started to use their account as if it is her personal account. My mother is still alive. I wonder if it is possible to change the executor to a third party executor now that my father has passed away if my mother agrees to it?
    My sister is very controlling and under the guise of helping, she is manipulating my mother.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My best friend passed away last November. I December his widow told me she received everything of his - I had no reason not to believe her. A few months later she recanted and told me he had left me a very valuable vintage automobile but that she was not giving it to me as he had left her with some other debts and that they all had to be paid. I have received no documentation, nothing from the law firm that handled his will - I don't even know who is the executor. She is money hungry and I don't feel I deserve this treatment (she is doing the same with another one of his friends). What can I do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need more information - specifically, what was in the estate compared to what debts exist. The reason I say this is that debts have to be paid from an estate before anyone gets their gifts. If there was a lot of debt, it's definitely possible that the car and other assets need to be sold to cover them.

      Keep in mind that not everything that your friend owned is going to be in his estate. For example, if he owned his home or his bank account or his vehicle jointly with his wife, she gets them on his death but they are not part of the estate. They are hers because of joint ownership.

      This means that only the things that were in his name alone are available to be sold to pay his debts.

      As you can see, there are a lot of variables here, which is why you need to know more. The wife is more than likely the executor, which means she is the person who should be providing you with information.

      Here is exactly what you need to know: What debts existed when your friend died? What assets were available to pay for those debts?

      A rule that will be of interest to you is the one that says specific gifts (such as a vintage car) cannot be used to pay debts until the residue of the estate has been fully used up. Therefore you need to know what was in the residue.

      If she will not give you this information voluntarily, you may have to hire a lawyer of your own to ask for it.

      Lynne

      Delete
  27. My sister is power of attorney and executor and more and she took all assets and condo and car and life insurance . I filed a court date and notice of objection which freezes all assets and that is the first thing to do

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Lynn,

    Thanks for such a helpful blog. While the comments that some contributors are making... make me feel less alone, it is also severely increasing my concern!

    My mom is currently 85 years old and in poor health with a recent diagnosis of dementia. My brother is the sole executor of the estate and lives in the basement of her home with his new wife and teenaged daughter. My mom's will states that her estate will be divided 50/50 between my brother and myself. Unfortunately some sibling rivalries seem to exist and although there is a (thin) facade of friendliness, I can’t help but feel a lot of concern and doubt about his intent to fulfill her wishes, especially due to his very close proximity and influence.

    He already has a limited POA for her main bank account. My mom thinks my brother can do no wrong and fully believes he will fulfill her wishes (and try as I might she does not wish to change this status), but I am no where near as convinced. What I really need to know is, how can I protect myself?

    I really appreciate your suggestions and look forward to your insight on any next steps I can take to protect my future. If my mom's intentions are fulfilled, it will mean the difference for me between being somewhat comfortable, or really struggling. I am very concerned that he will not fulfil her wishes, and will abuse his power, leaving me with nothing. The estate's main asset is the home and it is a quite considerable sum.

    What if any steps can I take now to ensure her wishes are fulfilled?

    Thank you! Regards, Linda

    ReplyDelete
  29. Not sure where to start.But in a nutshell,there is 3 of us named in the Will,2 executors and me the beneficiary. Were all to get 1/3 of the estate .Well the one executor doesnt give a crap about the other executor and she took charge of everything from the start.Well we meaning me and the one executor meet the other one at the bank on Dec 5th to pick up our 1/3 in a bank draft.This is where the crime starts.She pulls out a piece of paper from her purse with all her figuring on it,My name with what she decided should be deducted from my 1/3.She took $28,000.00 from my 1/3 for the executors compensation,she said 5%.I couldnt believe what i was seeing.But were in a bank ,i said one thing to her and right away she's on the defensive saying "I didnt rip you off" lol but yes she did.The two executors walked away with $81,000.00 and i got $39,000.00.In the Will it says equal share 1/3 for all 3 of us.Another thing is she hates me ,shes told me this a few times.The day her father changed his Will and put me in for 1/3 shes hated me.Im going to see a lawyer one day this week.Im going to take her to court everyday until i get back every cent she decided to deduct from my share.I need a few outsiders opinions on what ive said.Do i have a good case? Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You need a lawyer to write a letter. The executor will probably do nothing if you write a letter. Sounds like the executor has not probated the Will which is not always necessary if every beneficiary is is in agreement.Sound like the executor has access to the bank accounts etc because she holds them jointly and no lawyer is involved. Your lawyer needs to ask her for the inventory of assets, to account and probate Will. Don't sign a release until you have seen the accounts and are happy. We have an executor who was the POA has never accounted for handling the assets up to date of death. We found he received the RRIF when it should have been declared in the estae. He also got his two daughters written in to the Will and his two grandchildren. this way he gets a larger share of the estate. The lawyer who drew up the will was the executors lawyer not the deceased Testatrix regular lawyer. The lesson to be learned is to give all your assets away while you are competent. In the end you will be looked after anyway by those who love you or at least by social services or the state in a nursing home.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My son as co-executor, to date has spent $60,000 of his own money just to administer his grandmother's Estate. Who the heck wants to take on this task if it leads them to personal bankruptcy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a pretty extreme situation. I've never encountered an executor who has personally put up that much money. I agree, who would want to do that? How many people could even come up with the funds?

      Lynne

      Delete

  32. My mom passed away 3 months ago. I'm in complete shock, this is not who I believe them to br. I just want to wake up. my Brother in Law is the Executor. My mom left everything (the house) to me and my sister. We only have 13, 000 left on the mortgage. HAD being the word. In 3 months they have withdrawn a $ 1000 every other day now owing 32,000.00 owing just on the equity credit loan & use mom's visa everyday for all their personal purchases. Then pay the visa with the money from the house equity loan all in moms name. I bring this up there going to freak out that I found out. It's a nightmare. I'm a heir do I have right's against what there doing?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Do I as a beneficiary have the right to live in my deceased father's house immediately following his death, even though the other beneficiary (and executor) says they do not want me to?

    ReplyDelete
  34. My father passed away Nov 2018. My mother verbally informed me that her and my father ( who at that time had " significant dementia"according to the doctor) had changed their will, changing it from 50/50 to my sister and myself ( the only children) to giving my sisters daughter the bulk of the estate and my family receiving only 25% and my sisters receiving 75%. This grandchild is now involved in all my mothers financial affairs. My sister and all her family have seen this new will and the previous will. When I asked my mother for a copy , which she unprompted several weeks prior said she should provide me with, Mom became angry and stated she isn't showing it to anyone. I have not spoken to her for several months now due to her behavior , nor do I speak to my sister or her family due to their previously abuse behavior.I did have a previous experience with my sister and an uncle who died and my sister took over the roll of executor over an estate , ( although she had no legal right to as my father was executor), and trying to get any information , even copies of the will from her was extremely difficult.( I was a beneficiary) . They are very secretive and I think they are going to convince my Mom to disinherit me. How do I protect my inheritance?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a complicated question. On one hand, you have no right to inherit anything if your mother chooses not to give you anything. There is absolutely no law that says she has to give you anything at all.

      Having said that, the important part of my comment is that it's your mother's choice. It's quite possible that she is being influenced by your sister and/or her grand-daughter. This is, unfortunately, really common. Many people take it upon themselves to decide how their parents' estates should be distributed and really don't care if the parents agree.

      There is nothing you can do in terms of the law to prevent this in advance. The law does not allow you to object to a will while a person is still alive.

      If your mother passes away leaving a will that is very one-sided, you may end up challenging the will on the basis of undue influence. You haven't said that your mother has dementia but it does sound as though she may be getting more advice than she wants regarding her will and her finances. This type of challenge is not fun, but if you really believe your mother was persuaded or forced to make a will she didn't really want to make, that is the method set out in the law.

      Lynne

      Delete
  35. Uncle has admitted to spending 11k of moms estate. Nwver made trust account etc etc.
    Im hooped

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You might be. Or, you could take him to court to make him pass his accounts. Then a judge would probably make him repay it.

      Lynne

      Delete
  36. Hi lynn,

    I contacted you about 5 years ago in regards to some difficultly I was experiencing as an executor in my Grandfathers Will, heres what unfortunately happened; prior to my Grandfather passing, he literally told me his entire life story, including secrets he'd never told anyone, including one where he ever so slightly changed his Will to reflect the massive loan he'd lent my aunt that she still hadn't paid back and he knew she was going to pretend never happened after his death. So my aunt (his daughter) and myself were executors in the Will. My aunt was one of my best friends but after seeing the Will everything changed.  The day after he had passed away she was already in contact with his lawyer seeking his Will.  Seeing the changes in his Will she immediately asked his lawyer if she could make changes in the Will. On the car ride home she asked me to calculate her total and when I read the number, her head almost hit the roof of her car screaming "THATS IT???" Days later she went insane arguing with and screaming at everyone about the Will not being fair, accusing everybody of lying including my Granddad and his lawyer, she would often separate all of us trying to turn us against each other with her lies, demanding we start emptying the house, take what we want only to tell us to return everything days later claiming everything we took was promised to her, she loaded up her car days after granddad passed away with anything that was of value or an electronic, she harassed my grandfathers lawyer so much about making changes, calling him a liar and demanding the use of the previous Will that didnt mention her loan, that he quit after 11 days so she hired her own lawyer to change his Will and successfuly kick me off as executor, took the only set of house keys, locked us out of his house and changed the garage code, empted out his bank accounts, successfully conned Granddads notary into putting his house into her name months after Granddad passed away, over a year after his passing with the house sitting in limbo she found a "gift letter" gifting her his house, his car and with drastic changes to the Will successfully nulling the final Will, threatening to sue me after telling people via social media what she'd done, and putting all of us through so much heartache. In the end, the estate was worth roughly $950,000, she walked away with over $825,000, leaving us and her lawyer with the remainder. I did hire a lawyer at one point but they were of no use, so my dad had to hire another lawyer who proved much better but still couldn't get my aunts lawyer to follow the original Will.  She is now all alone, begging us to please talk to her, inviting us out for Christmas and insisting she never did anything wrong, claiming this is what Granddad wanted. It is absolutely heartbreaking what people will do for money. There is so much more detail I could go into resulting in almost 20 pages of what she did/put us through but I just wanted to share another story of "Executors Who Steal".  I often come to this forum, reading about what other executors have done to their family and friends, filling them with sorrow and heartbreak knowing I'm not the only one with horrible money hungry family members.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. What a terrible time you've had. And you are right that it's heartbreaking what people will do for money. It's true that money changes people. I've seen it hundreds of times in my work. People who get along, who like each other, who trust each other, are suddenly kicked aside when one of them sees dollar signs. Though I tend to believe in second chances for people in general, I find it hard to wish for reconciliation in your case. It seems like karma that she lost exactly the people she was willing to trample on. It's a sad story for sure.

      Lynne

      Delete
  37. It was quite possibly the worst experience of my life. It was no doubt in my mind that her goal was to kick me off as executor even before my Grandfather died. I forgot to mention that she would call me and tell me "you have to pick up his mail, maintain his yard, attend all of his strata meettings" all without the help from my Dad as she deemed his help illegal, and "you'll have to see his lawyer 5 days a week for over a year signing paper work" and would finish it all with "if you cant do that, you'll have to quit as executor". Everytime I would question somebody that apparently said what she said they did, their response was always the same "I never said that". Because of her actions, it took exactly 5 years to dispearse wjat was left of the estate to the beneficiaries.

    Thanks again for reading.

    ReplyDelete

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