I read a lot of material about aging parents and family dynamics. I've even written my share about them. But every now and then I come across an article that illuminates the subject for me in a way that I hadn't seen before, or gives me new food for thought. Dr. Marc Agronin's article in the New York Times called "Struggling With an Abusive Aging Parent" is one of those articles.
Dr. Agronin talks about how as adults we may have to deal with the fact that our parents were abusive to us, or had other issues (such as addiction) that led them to behave in ways that we find hard to forgive. He talks about how our reactions to our parents manifest in our behaviour toward them when the parents become the ones who now need our care and help as they age, and how this makes us feel.
It's a compassionate but common-sense look at how families behave, and Dr. Agronin offers a couple of helpful tips as well. I urge you to read it if you're struggling right now with caring for a parent that you find hard to forgive. Click here to read the article.